Derhaka kah aku?

I'm writing this blog when i'm in the MAS lounge KLIA, dunno why i felt that i really need to write something now..maybe because i'm so angry, sad or..i dunt know...btw i'm leaving to Manila today, as usual i woke up early morning pack all my stuff and about to leave the house. While waiting for the taxi my parents "tegur" me about my dressing, its something like this..tak de ke seluar baru...baju yg longgar sket..for god sake at 7 am both of my parents mumbling about my dressing...wanna know what i wear...my normal Miss Sixty jean, baby T with cardigan!!!! what the hell....and there goes the early morning arguments with my parents...

for god sake i'm leaving soon...bukan pergi kerja kat PWTC...Manila okeh...can't they just make me at least leave with peaceful mind that they will be okay when i'm away!!!???!! end up i left the house as so called "anak derhaka" without saying goodbye and salam both of them...well this is not the firs time...EVERYTIME i'm leaving for overseas trip...not to mention almost every morning yang my mom nagging before i went to work.

Well...its been 30 years leaving under one roof with them..and all the stuff i do always a wrong doing to them...i'm sorry that i have to confess that almost 20 years i've been lying to them..just to make them happy...for 30 years i can't make my own decision...until TODAY!!! i'm not your little girl anymore...i am 30 and i think i'm ready to face my life on my own...for 30 years all my life id being control by them..what i do...what i wear..where i go!!! and today i think i can't take it anymore...

i know i'm their fav ones...i'm the spoilt brat in the family..but can't they just think that i became like this is because of they have been controlling my life..and end up i' the one who always memberontak in the house. I know i make my mom always cry about be...but i she give herself a bit space to understand the life i have now...the work i'm into...at least to understand a bit the name of "freedom" to your daughter. I have my own set of house keys at the age of 25!!! i never wear knee length skirt, not even three quarter pants!! mentioning to go for karaoke is a NO..NO things...what else they want me to be?????!!!???

the reason that i still be at that house is to take care of them...or else i might be out already, have my own life somewer...its because i love them...and i know they love me too...but until when i have to be like this..keeping everything to myself...i don't know